When I asked my wife to marry me, I thought the extent of my role was little more than choosing a date, chapel, tuxedo and rad DJ. Almost immediately I got a swift wakeup call from my beautiful bride-to-be. She transformed from a level-headed coed to a stressed out bride, seemingly overnight. It quickly became apparent that my soon-to-be wife needed my support, understanding and help with a long list of wedding planning responsibilities. Who knew?

I was the first of my friends to get married, so their help wasn’t exactly helpful—they were as clueless as I was, and my dad wasn’t exactly the wedding planning type, so I had to wing it. I let my bride lead the way and gave support and advice where I could. Looking back, I wish I would have had the same resources that brides have access to. There are so many books, magazines and websites devoted to brides, but what about grooms like me, who didn’t have the first idea of how to help plan a wedding, and more importantly, keep their blushing brides sane during the process?

Nowadays, there are such books. Lucky guys. If you or someone you know is about to take a walk down the aisle, you don’t have wing it like I did. Check out Shelly Hagen’s The Everything Groom Book. It walks you through the whole wedding planning process, from choosing the date to supporting your frazzled bride—trust me, it happens, no matter how organized she is.

Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking and your lady can’t do it alone. Fortunately for you, there’s a guide for everything you didn’t realize you needed to know about being a great groom.